In my dreams there is a river
Its current going north and south from where I can see
Boat silhouettes with bright lanterns
Are drifting around me

And in these boats are only shadows
Mere dark human forms
At their core they carry flames
A bright force that can be hidden, but not torn

Some carry within them only sparks
Dieing energy fighting to survive
While others carry a flame so rare
It has been said to cause explosions of colors to light up the sky

These flames they look for each other
I remember those days very well
A kindred spark, a twin glow
But I'm at the shore
And these days,
I'm more interested in those who ignite

So I hop from boat to boat
I watch each flame burn
And with every boat I enter,
I know I've left a spark behind
But only to receive another one back
Beauty attracts beauty,
So I find

Yet, it's been a while
And this time I find
Myself looking at a figure across the river,
On the other side

There is no sound,
There are no noises
Just two silhouettes who can't help but enjoy
The existence of each other's glow

My safety is found in the rays of the sun
My safety is in the arms of the autumn breeze
In the light reflecting through the red and yellow leafs

And when I breathe in
It's then my lungs know
That the cool air feels something like home

My home lies up in the mountains
And also down by the shore
I can almost hear the "Welcome back"
With every wave that dissipates
Until it reaches my toes

Yet there's only one place I have found I belong
It's only in your heart my roots grow

I've been waiting here, at the train station, for quite some time now
Seating here by the tracks,
Hoping to hear my name called out as every new train arrives and then eventually departs once again

As a young girl I was told that one day my turn would come
One day I would be summoned into the train
New experiences would then wait ahead
I'm starting to wonder now, though, if those words were correct

I see a lot of people who get on these trains every day
Some more than once,
Others barely arrive only to be called up, much to their surprise
And then there are those who have been here for years,
Only hope exists for them
And as they get older some get bitter,
Others become railroad workers and forget all about their ride on the train
I hear they come to the end of their lives never having heard the call of their name

And so I wonder if I will grow old in this station too
Why are so many going before me?
I've been here longer and behaved better too!
I busy myself, at times, with the games at the lobby
Or sometimes volunteer to help at the front desk
Or make conversation with the others while they wait
Keeping busy, although, all the while with my ears attentive to the sound of my name

I don't want to become angry
I don't want to be bitter either
I just want to know why I feel like I've been forgotten
Why has this gift not been bestowed upon me too?
Have I been doing something wrong or waiting in the wrong lane?

Perhaps my turn will come with the next train

I've got a bag full of questions
They're written in little white folded pieces of paper
And if a bag could hold a portion of the worlds wonder
It'd be right here

Look at me
What do you see?

Show me how I got here
Teach me how each piece of the puzzle,
That makes me up, fits

Why are they all different colors?
Why does the zigzag and the circle click?

And if I know nothing, then won't you take me there?
Take me to that place and show me those things I've yet to see

Show me how it was,
How it is,
How it will be,
And maybe even how it should be

Show me who I am
And how I fit

I love the morning because the world is fresh and new
There are those days where it seems like even though the sun may have risen a million times before, it never has risen like today
That big brilliant balloon filled with light shattered the darkness and chased away the thieves
Giving you enough room so that you can breathe and see clearly

I love the morning because of the silence
The silence that crept in during the night and lingered just long enough to be felt
It's a blank canvas
A sailboat waiting to be directed so that it can direct you

I love the morning because sometimes I imagine not being so alone
Waking up to a friendly face
Warm hugs and breakfast in bed
I can almost see you seating there on the bed
Eating banana pancakes and laughing at the silly things I say

I love the morning because it can speak to you if you listen
Sometimes I can hear it seducing me to step out
To leave this inside world and burst into a thousand pieces
So that I can experience a thousand moments
A thousand emotions
A thousand adventures all at once

But instead, there is only me
With this one moment
One breath to breathe
The possibilities still endless
The journey to take still up to me

Can you see the struggle now?
Like two opposing forces fighting for air
We hold onto this rope
Tugging and pulling
Funny thing is,
I didn't even know I was fighting
Until the night I opened my eyes
And found my heart dieing

No oxygen was getting inside

You see,
You were never one to share

You said something about surviving and that you loved me
So, I freely gave you my air
After all, I could take it
And isn't that what lovers do?
Lay down their lives for one another?

Yet now I find myself in the midst of a tug-a-war
Letting go would mean never saying "no"
It would mean barely breathing while you bask in a breeze

No,
You were never one to share

Oh, how I loath this struggle
It's such a waste of time
I would much rather be hugging or staring at the sky

But I must breathe

You said you loved me
But I ask you,
What kind of love is this, when you know without oxygen no life could possibly exist?

We all hide, you know
We hide our wounds
So no ones sees

We all wear a mask, you know
And I'm about to take mine off
They tend to crack and sometimes even hurt

It's scary how one can be so naked,
Yet still be wearing clothes
But it's comforting to think
Maybe someone out there doesn't mind all your faults

Maybe I should have a shield
Just in case others don't understand
It might get heavy though,
When I have no pockets
Just these hands

But then, a shield isn't very different from a mask, is it?

Who's that staring back in the mirror?
Why is she so familiar to me,
Yet so strange to you?
I could have sworn we'd made peace a few months back
So why are you trying to start a fight?

You know, I see you too
And all the things you do
I see you've got rips and tears
Your exterior isn't so new
We have this in common
So have you made peace with your reflection too?

You see, I've got all these memories
I sort through them from time to time
But when you're around
You trigger something in me I don't like

You pick through
And somehow you manage to find the one card
The one move, that could mean my demise

I know you can't tell
But you don't play nice
And this game,
It isn't so fun anymore

This is a mystery wrapped in strange beautiful words
And if this is a mystery, why not find it out?
If we do,
And later discover it to be nothing but a rusty clock,
Just like the others
Will we wish to have left it unknown?
Because that way, it would have always remain a perfect mystery
Our mystery.

Intro

"The push of being different, the pull of wanting to belong."

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who loved the sea. She spent most of her evenings walking by the shore and looking out into the darkening sky. She wrote poems on the sand; tales of unlived romances and far away dreams. Until one evening a bottle with a note inside, washed up on the beach. It read, " I've read all your stories and dreams. Now come live them out with me. Sincerely, The Sea."

And so the girl got on a boat and set her sail. By getting lost she found herself.

These are her stories and her dreams.